Entry One.....04.10.2009

[Barbie]

Merry meet a Bright Blessings!

The entry with the piece of writing in by Sandi Thomas...is something I found whilst I was searching the internet! I read through it and decided that I can relate to everything she has written! Even the part about raising her children to be strong and not be afraid to stand up for what they believe!
I think this piece of writing is a very good sum-up of everything a Witch has to go through...as people instantly look down their noses at you or look at you like you've just grown two heads or something!
I just don't get it.....why when we say that we're Witches do we get looked at like we've just arrived from space.....yet people who are Christians or Catholics or Jews or Hindus or any other religion, don't get looked at like their doing something wrong! It just goes to show that people are still seeing Witchcraft through the preconceived views they have always had! I bet most people if you ask them to describe a Witch, would go for the stereotypical, tall, long black hair, pointed hat, crooked nose, having a black cat at their side, flying a broom!
This isn’t how we look at all!
I could pass you by on the street one day, and you wouldn't think "Oh, there's a Witch", no, you would think "Oh there's another ordinary girl going by", as I look just the same as anybody else, albeit a bit taller for girl, as I'm 5"9, but I still look ordinary!
Just because I have a different religion, doesn't mean that I'm going to look any different, or dress any differently! Sometimes I do have a thing for tops with what I call "floaty sleeves" as they are just something I have always liked!
But it does annoy me sometimes, when I hear anything or read anything about Witchcraft, and people are putting it down saying its wrong and evil!
Why is it? Doesn't Witchcraft have the right to be a religion just the same as any other? Or is it because there is not set text that we Witches follow, like Christians with their Bible?
I have a theory why people see witchcraft as evil and wrong......They don't understand it! And when people don't understand something, they call it wrong or sinful as it scares them!
Why can't people just take the time to sit down and ask us about it? I guarantee they would be quite shocked at how "not evil" it is! And how it actually brings hundreds of people together in one single religion that is fastly growing in today’s society! And how it's actually one of the nicest and least harming religions......have you every heard of any Witches going to war over something that is said in an old book? Or have you ever heard of any Witches saying that their religion is the best and that their deities are "the one and only"?
I didn't think so.
Anyway, enough of that....I just get myself wound up!
So.....Enough of my ranting (I tend to do that alot, so I appoligise in advance).....I really should start by telling you something about myself.....
Well, I'm 21, (22 in january), I am tallish, around 5"9, I have shoulder length brown hair which I am growing back out of my current style, I have blue eyes, (Yes, I was orginally blonde, but I dyed my hair and its never gone back to blonde since). My friends and family all say I have a bubbly personality and that I always get along with people. I hardly ever meet anybody that I don't like, and I hardly ever fall out with people either, it takes an awful lot for somebody to make me fall out with them, as I don't care about all the stupid little arguments and mistakes that people make, as that is what makes us all human! We all make mistake from time to time, and we all need to be forgiven and not cast aside over them. I guess if I have to think of any reason why I have fallen out with peope before, it has been when they have hurt myself, my son or my family, by doing something that is really unforgivable. and honestly this doesnt happen very often with me,as I always find mistakes people have made arent as bad as what they think they are! I guess that is why people say I'm understanding and non-judgemental.
As you can tell from my profile, I have a beautiful son, Tommy-Joe, who I love with all my heart and soul, and he is my entire world! He was born on the 30th May, 2008, at 11.10am at the local hospital, and he weighed 6lb, 15oz, which I was told was a very good weight for him, as he wasnt meant to be born until the 15th June. I can still remeber the first time I set eyes on him, he was so tiny, and he was crying and crying, and I was getting upset as I thought there was something the matter with him. But as soon as the midwife handed him to me so I could hold him, he stopped crying straight away, and he curled his hand around one of my fingers,and he just lay on my chest, happy as anything falling asleep. It was unreal, it was so exausting yet so exciting at the same time....its hard to explain, but anybody who has had children themselves will understand what I mean. I just didnt want to put him down, when it was time to get me in the bath and all cleaned up, I didnt want to let go, so I eventually put him into the little crib that the hospital provided and I wheeled him into the bathroom with me,whilst I had a bath, I didnt want to let him out of my sight! The for the rest of the day before I was allowed to go home, I just lay watching him sleep....it was so overwhelming I just kept bursting out into tears. I was so happy it was hard to describe.....I was a mother, and I had given life to the tiny perfect little baby that lay across my chest, peacefully sleeping holding my finger in his tiny tiny hand. I can honestly say that that morning was the happiest day of my life....and nothing will ever compare to the feeling I got as soon as I saw my baby boy!
Right now, for the serious part, my relationship. I was in a relationship with my son's dad up until august this year, which was when we had a huge row and it turned very very nasty. To cut a long and painful story short, I ended up with two black eyes and a fractured jaw. So naturally we split up, and we are now only having any contact when Tommy sees his dad.
It was so unexpected, what he did to me, that I still can't believe it sometimes when I think about it. Its not something that you can just forget, being beaten up like that by the man who says he loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you! and to make it more paniful for me, we were engaged and due to be married on the 21st June 2010! I had started to pay for my wedding dress and everything....that was a real kick in the gut when I had to cancel everything! But I know that it was for the best, as I don't know what I would have done if this had happened once we wre married!
I know that deep down I need to forgive him, so that I can move on with my life, but I just can't at the moment, it's still to raw, to conisder forgiving him for what he did. And I know that I have to...I just know that it is going to take a long time before I can even consider it!
anyway...I have to leave this entry there,as my son is racing around like a lunatic!
And I need a cup of tea, as the one I made with my breakfast has gone cold now, as I forgot about it.
love and light
thewiccanfaerie
xxxx